Thursday, February 21, 2008 Y 8:53 AM

Today is a super eventful day. and i hate this very day. I really hate it.

Right from the start, the first lesson was chemistry and we arrived at the LT before the boys came first.In case you don't know, there are 2 rows for 07s07. One of the row has broken tables.It is a very sad thing that we are to give up our seats to let the boys who hadn't come into the LT and sita ended up sitting on the chair with the broken table. I don't feel good for her. I don't understand, why do we have to give up seats for them?? Isn't that a guy job? yaa..are we to sacrifice ourselves to let them sit? WHY? In the end, the seats that were left for the boys were not sat. They sat at other places. =[ why?? I think it is really very childish..

In maths lecture, i can't believe that it happened. I think it is really very sad to have all our classmateship ended up like this. Just what is happening ? I don't really know. sigh.All along, i have always been hoping that our clique's relationship with the class will not be so bad. But it seems that our conflict can never be resolved.

After what had happened during chemistry, i don't wish for the scene to reanact. The guys and my clique wants to sit on the same row in maths lecture. In the end, we occupied the seat first. But there left no place for Benja and they want a seat for him. So, i decided not to be so bad that it is we are the ones snapping their seats. After all, the total number of seats available on that row is just nice. It is that i think most of us wouldn't like to sit in the LT with the table on our left hand side. So, we asked for an exchange of direction of seating since some of them agree to sit on seats with table at the left hand side. We came to that agreement with them,but there was no action. They didn't move, they were waiting for us to move. We have 6 people, they have 4 people. Aaron was getting sick and tired of all our talkings that he said in an unkind manner of us to shut up and just sit. I think i feel like bursting la. of all the trouble.WHAT the -.- Do you really think i care? Isn't it your wishes to book a seat for benja that we had decided to move so that everyone are sitting on the same row?? So that we will not argue, so that your will not say we are selfish. Why?? We could have just had our butt stuck on the seats. why all the bother? why is kind intentions seen as a KPO kind of thing? What wrong have we/I done?? I can't help but stop to feel that it is hopeless. A hopeless thing. A simply hopeless thing.

Why are other classes, though they have cliques are able to communicate with each other properly? But in my class, this very class of mine, it seems that our relationship can turn sour easily as anything. I think i should just mind my own business, my own world. I shouldn't have care so much. I shouldn't . I really shouldn't. It seems that it is all my fault. I really feels super sad that even after one year, things doesn't seems to get any better.

Kaixin told me something which i reflected alot. If the guys said that weiqing was ungentlemanly when he didn't give up his taxi for wenfang, how could they say they are less ungentlemanly as him when they didn't even give up seats to the ladies during lectures? I am utterly dissappinted that i agree to the truth.

Comparing again my secondary school guys, even when some seems mugger type or non-mugger type, they were gentlemen at times. sigh.

For now, i do not know who is wrong or right. I am in no more mood to decipher or feel the truth. All i know is the days ahead will be of silence with each other. if you know what i meant...